I eat a very healthy breakfast, and an even healthier lunch.
I also eat veggies and fruits, drink matcha tea with very watery skimmed milk and only one cup of coffee per day. However, on my way back home in the evenings, invariably, a sense of doom descends upon me. Why am I here, what am I doing with my life, am i really happy, should i start over, etc.
Then I come home and eat cake. Copious amounts of cake. And in fact, it does make everything better.
If spooning Nutella directly from the jar into my mouth at night is not counter-active to the cabbage soup diet, I don’t know what is. Hashtag Epic fail.
I will never understand why women always shame or guilt themselves, especially with food. Like the whole world wasn’t enough, we also have to do this to ourselves.
I have overheard so many women, biting into a piece of chocolate or a beautiful cupcake, talking about how this is their one guilty pleasure, how they so rarely reward themselves with this treat, body shaming themselves while they are at it, for good measure.
The other night at Robertson Quay, I heard two women discussing sex with men who they don’t really like and how they always feel a bit guilty about it.
What does guilty pleasure even mean? Who came up with it?
Why should there be any guilt in what gives you pleasure?
I have just started taking Bikram yoga classes. This sounds innocuous. Except, it isn’t. Bikram Yoga is a series of 26 cruelly contorted postures done in succession, inside a super hot, super humid room.
And no, it’s not just hot. The studio is heated to 45 degrees and the humidity is more than 40% at all times.
I cannot actually even touch my toes, let alone do the pretzel type poses. And while everyone is doing yoga on their mats, I am drowning in a pool of sweat, thinking I might vomit into it any minute.
Lately, I have been feeling like no matter what I do, I can’t stop spreading out like a giant japanese fan taking over the world.
So, as a last resort, I have joined Bikram Yoga classes, which is where I am headed right now.
If doing power yoga inside a steam room doesn’t work, then I swear to you, I will stop complaining about my fat and accept the fact that I will, perhaps, always be slightly overweight.
Here’s how you can get the perfect beach body, in two simple steps.
1. You have a body
2. Go to the beach
There you have it. Naysayers be damned.